christmas cheer.

Darn I'm laughing like a madman now. If you are feeling bored, please go visit this website that allows you to talk to random strangers on the net. (http://omegle.com/)

I'm pretty sure there would be plenty of guys on this website, so I decided to talk nonsense to some of them, here are some examples.

Stranger: hi
You: ello
Stranger: 20 m
You: doink
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(he immediately decided not to talk to me! how sad is that?)

But here is the most epic, from zw, which made me laugh so loudly that my dad thought I was having a fit.

[Slacker Inc.] =[ Z ħ о ή ğ ш є Ґ ]= 21-07 says:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: doink
Stranger: boink
You: zoink
Stranger: toink
You: poink
Stranger: loink
You: coink
Stranger: moink
You: noink
Stranger: foink
You: woink
Stranger: soink
You: qoink
Stranger: voink
You: roink
Stranger: oink

Wahahahaha! Nice ending to a lousy day.

festive mood.

The christmas mood is rather infectious. Everyone being jolly around you, the santa clauses, the elves and the Na'vi. HUR. Yes please go catch Avatar if you haven't, really one of the more epic movies that came out, thoroughly enjoyed the show, the whole 2.5hrs of it.

Anyway, today was such a sinful day, met up with zw and corn to eat Seoul Garden's buffet from 12.30pm to 4.15pm. Which meant we ate almost nonstop for like 4 hours. Coolios. (good luck for my ippt.)

And sometimes, I just don't understand you. But would I wish that I could?

down.

Went for a morning run with zw and corn, nearly died on my third round, my stamina has really gone down the hill. After that was a session of badminton and I went home with a splitting headache. Ugh, I suppose it was the morning sun that zapped all my energy and I think im runnning a fever now. Hai.

Everytime I fall ill, for some unknown and probably perverse reason, my tongue would start to taste like fish porridge. Hmm, perhaps im used to eating fish porridge when im ill, but this is a tad overboard. Yuck.

Must get well soon, for next week's activities (:

the end of another year.

The semester passed by scarily fast, just 7 more sems to go. Freedom is lovely, but there is this nagging doubt that I have not really done myself justice in my studies.

Finally getting a nice break after a hectic semester, as well as a nice draught of ice cold beer.

Met up with jess today and we passed by many shops that sold kids stuff that were very expensive. Parents are willing to spend so much on kids stuff like clothing for their toddlers; yet the toddlers probably wont even remember that they had such nice clothes. I would rather save that amount of money in a bank ( to reduce my opportunity cost of holding money. WHAT. don judge me.) and spend on my kids when they have grown up and learnt to appreciate such things.

I feel that my biological clock has been screwed up again, sleeping later and later.

almost.

I can smell it. Almost within my grasp. My poor brain has been bullied no end. I will get matlab over and done with and finally indulge in some super slacking activities with my friends!

And you! I'll be waiting for my ramen.

the final push.

Am now at the library waiting for my beloved, but perpetually late Kublai to arrive. Haha. I had been at the library mugging for the past week and I only just found out from Nessa that Kublai has also been at the library for the past week! And I never saw anyone of them! How cool is that.

The exams haven't really been that kind to me, esp math, utterly demoralised when I couldn't complete the whole paper confidently, unlike the times during A levels where I could complete the whole paper under half of the allocated time and know that I secured at least 80% of the marks.

Oh well, I must push on for my material science and...matlab. Gan-gan-ganbatte.

the end of a semester.

This is it. The final week of the semester, been camping at home for these whole time, trying to get my brain even more fine tuned. I wished I still had the same brain power back in the A levels. Ugh.

It was the final session for this semester for the Drop-in cafe. Even though we only see each other for once a week, it was great talking to all of my group members, especially the HTHT sessions amidst all the noise generated by those monsters, and making GOOD, and weird friends.

We tried to take a nice group photo. Not as easy as it seemed with pris around.

cyclical unemployment.

Its already week11! Ever since the orientation camps passed by, every week has been a repeated cycle.

Firstly, the weekend would fly by. And that's me on sunday nights trying to rush my Matlab assignment and econs tutorial (which gave me the inspiration for this blog post).

Monday, for some reason or another, I seem to have lost the ability to wake up early. Thus, I would wake up when it is already the early afternoon and I have to go prepare for lessons. When I come back from school, again, the mad rush for Matlab and econs tutorial.

Tuesday, has been quite a demoralising day for this semester. My inability to wake up early has cost me quite a few lessons.

Wednesday, after a good economics lecture, my cca!

Thursday. Slack.

Friday. Ehhhh..slack.

conundrum.

I think too much. I observe and question the actions of people. And I cant say that my conclusion is very far from the actual happenings. So from the early shapes of my conclusion, I can already tell that I wont like it, one single bit.

amusement.

I have seen quite a few stuff in my short life that I wouldn't like to see, and life as it seems, is never short of surprises.

I never claimed to be the smartest person, or the most street-wise person alive, and rightfully so. But it really seems that some people are living at the bottom of the proverbial well.

At what age it is now, and how old the person in question is, and still resorting to using childish and immature tactics to foul the character of this unfortunate someone. *roll eyes.

Nevertheless, having gone through my "Youth Evolution" training, I learnt that as a good budding social worker, I must learn to thicken my skin, and just be the bigger person, understanding that maturity is possible when the frontal cortex of the brain develops.

Sheesh. Like put any other person in my shoes, and we'll both be laughing all the way home.

Anyway, I would be volunteering my services at the student care centre drop in cafe! It would start the following week and I hope all goes well.

autobots vs the decepticons.

How is it even possible for people to be so mule-headed? Hai. And just wondering, what would be your reaction, yes you the reader, if you were to encounter such a blatant lie in your face?

I was flabbergasted, sputtering at the mere audacity of such a lie.

It would be akin to running face first into a block of solid wood.

wishlist.

Life, in all of its chaotic glory, can be a real challenge. I've always wanted a peaceful and quiet life, just little old me in my world + my friends, that's it.

Studying for the mid years have never been so challenging. I really have no idea if I have prepared enough. Let me get over this week and hopefully life would be more peaceful again.

But would I get bored of having a quiet life? Wouldn't anyone crave for some adventure, or rather just indulge in their own daydreams?

a whole new perspective.

I was troubled by some stuff that happened that was close to my heart. But having received news of one of my school mate's unfortunate mishap, the incident that happened seems trivial now.

"In every life,
there comes a time
to walk in shadows and in sunlight,
to hear silence and song,
to shed tears of sadness and of joy,
to forget what has been taken,
and remember
what has been given"

I found this extremely meaningful, especially the last 3lines, in which my best friends should know why.

I'll offer a prayer up to the Lord for him.

This is my favourite prayer, for both myself, and to his loved ones.

The Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

my life.

To actually look back on my blog posts, I realised that I don't really update about my life. When I blog, I usually muse about the more interesting stuff that I think about, usually when I'm travelling alone.

Or maybe my life is just plain boring, but that's another story altogether. ha.

What can I say about my life so far?

I guess the word I'm looking for is 'contented'. I suppose I can be a easily contented person, I don't expect much from the world, and I depend on myself to fight for the things I want.

Going back to be a student again does feel great, but I'm trying to get back into my lost rhythm of studying and thriving under pressure, stress and competition. All my modules I'm taking so far have been alright, and in fact I'm quite enjoying school life. I have signed up for the NUS Community Service Club and will be volunteering at a student care centre near clementi.

There was this one incident that happened not too long ago. I was crossing an overhead bridge towards NUS and I saw these three students from NUS with dyed hair, smoking, and get this, two of which were having their hoodies on their heads! They were like staring at the people who walked past them, as though they were gangsters.

But being me, when they stared at me, I stared back even harder at those buggers. And being uncharacteristically "gangsterish", they didn't dare to stare at me again. Sheesh.

I mean like if you are a university student, you are actually fighting with other top students to secure your degree, and having paid good money, you are supposed to be working hard to do well right? Not behave like gangsters and smoking. If they want to be real gangsters, they should just leave school and join a real gang, and that will open up their eyes as to how lucky they are.

trust (ii).

I have always strongly believed in the saying, "A leopard never changes its spots". One of the truest sayings I have come across. Simple yet it drives the message home immediately.

Simply put, if a person is capable of doing something once, he is always capable of doing the same thing again. True, people can change, but its gonna take a hell of an effort if it is part of your character. A constant effort is needed, and it is always the smallest things that show your true self, your real character.

To trust also requires a hell lot of effort to do so, especially if you know the character of someone. There is always the fear that would make you doubt, the self preservation instinct kicks in and you are at the crossroads.

"What now?" you say, "should I continue to trust?"

These are exactly the sort of things that whittle down the bridge of trust initially established.

How about in the case when you have been betrayed? By the exact thing that you have been fearing. The hurt would be doubled, and you would hate yourself for not listening to your instincts at the start.

Can what is broken be mended so easily? Would you be able to trust again?

At least for myself, when trust is given, and broken, time may heal, but the scars left are permanent. I would need to see positive action and efforts to mend the trust again, if you value my trust. If not, I'm happy that I did not waste anymore effort on you, who is not a worthwhile friend.

What would you demand, to redeem your trust; or would you give your trust freely again?

trust.

What happens when you say you trust someone? Do you just put faith in the person, blind faith even?

When reason overrides emotional attachment, what happens to the faith, hope and trust you placed on that person?

By the principle of conservation of energy, all that emotions has to go somewhere, or turn into other forms of energy.

I would say those emotions will turn into resentment, disillusionment, and more extreme perhaps, hate. The expectation placed on the person is bound by social contract to uphold it.

Trusting someone fully isn't exactly my forte.

How far are you willing to go to earn the trust of people?

disillusionment.

After being quite depressed that I couldn't get my maths module, I went through the list and decided on another module that was 'cheaper', and yay! I got it for just 1 point.

Being in such a system has its own pros and cons, but right now, I'm probably only seeing the cons to it. Failing to get one module would just ensure a panicky reaction, and it would test your resolve as to how to plan your timetable.

Right now, I'm just in plain disillusionment.

In more ways that one. Do I always have to make the first step? Is pride really that important?

headache.

I finally know why exactly as to why my friends who started university at NUS earlier than I did kept complaining about the bidding system. There are so many variables to take into consideration, and many of which will have a direct impact on your life in university.

Viewing through all the available modules etc, I find myself silently cursing. Would life after education be as complicated?

Perhaps it is during university that you can see the future consequences of your choices, but in the working life I believe you would only know the consequences after you are stuck in it with no chance of getting out again.

Training for the future? Gah.

matters of the heart.

I am willing to :

- be the someone that makes you smile the moment you catch a glimpse of him.

- be the someone that gives you hugs when you need it.

- be the someone for you to fall back on.

- be the someone that finds immense joy by just having you in his arms.

- be the someone who just wants to fall in love with you.

Baby, would you let me be that someone?

A school apart, just a stone's throw away. A world of a difference.

I will not allow anything to get in the way.

Love from me. ♥

its only the beginning.

I'm finally back from my Malaysia trip to watch Manchester United in action. Nevertheless, I learnt a many new things about the transport system of Malaysia that sorta sums up the situation of the country entirely. But heck it, it was most probably a once in a lifetime event to watch some of the biggest names in the world playing in real life, and not behind a television screen.

Having only one day to rest, I immediately packed my stuff (again) to attend my chem engin orientation camp. Having learnt from experience with camps, I tried my best to get as much sleep as possible, but at the expense of being chagrined by OG pals. Screw it, I thought, and at least for me, I avoided walking around like a zombie like the rest of the OG.

Now I have to settle my uni matriculation and buy a laptop.

Seriously neglecting my darling girlfren.

I miss her.

music for my soul.

really cant seem to get enough of this piece. lovely!

training regime.

Today marks the second session of running that I had scheduled. I suppose it is an achievement for me to stick to my regime and not give up, after a few false starts in the previous months, where I did not have the motivation to do so.

It feels good to know that my stamina is still somewhere there. But there is a lot of sweat and pain to endure before I get my normal fitness up.

Perhaps I got this motivation from my very close bunch of frens that make a point to go for a run at least once a week.

But more likely it is from a few well placed words from my darling girlfren that kick started my engine.

Talking about training regimes, my group of friends and I bought tickets to the Manchester United Asia Tour in Kuala Lumpur! What excitement and hype. But the planning phase has had its fair share of stumbling blocks, but I realised that the Internet is really an awesome tool. You can find almost anything online.

One major drawback is that I wont be able to see her smiling face for almost 4days straight.

random.

Words without action are meaningless; action coupled by words can make a world of a difference to someone special.

Words alone give expectations.

Will you be able to live up to the expectation that you set, especially when it is by the own words you say?

"Alex, people change."

It was those exact words from a friend which started me thinking more about it. Yes, I agree, people do change. But one would think, are you able to choose the way you change, the way you turn out to be?

People usually change because of the things that happen around them, both good and bad things. Perhaps its now all to the question of your character, how would you react to such things, and in turn, that is how you would change.

Change is inevitable. Given the choice, everyone would want to change for the better. But how are you going to see the change, until someone else points it out to you?

At that point, is it already too late? Because that is your first instinct. This is the real you.

a thinker's thoughts.

I heard this quote from somewhere and despite my new found prowess in Google-ing (thanks wspc), I still cant find the full quote and its source. But it goes something like

"Beware the man who thinks too much, for he is the most dangerous."

They said that Julius Caesar was one such man, and 曹操 was another one.

I have had this discussion with a friend of mine, who also thinks too much. It is a double-edged sword, with the obvious advantage in you being able to analyse stuff more comprehensively, gaining enlightenment and understanding, and the matter comes to a close quickly.

However, one horrendous train journey last night shows one of the cons to thinking too much. You would know the more you think about it, the worse it would become, but instinctively you can stop yourself from just continuing to think more and more.

Its a major pain in the butt especially when you are alone, and there's nothing to distract you from thinking by yourself. It gets you down and totally demoralised. Until it comes to the obvious conclusion that there is nothing you can do about it by just merely thinking. But by then your mood would pretty much be spoilt.

Perhaps we should just NOT ask the questions that you do not want answers to.

But can you help it? That's the challenge.

expecting.

Nope, I am not pregnant, no matter how suspicious of my expanding belly you may be. Haha.

I have been holding this post back for quite awhile, in view of my preparations for my darling girlfren's birthday. Stressful, but to look at her smiling & shocked face when everything fell according to plan was just oh so sweet.

((:

Expectations of others is what I am gonna muse about in this post. Would it be easier to live without having expectations of others? To avoid disappointment of others not matching your expectation level, with the added bonus of being surprised when others do something unexpected for you.

I apply this for my acquaintances as I do not put in so much effort for such friendships.

How about close friends?

They can argue that you should know their character and you cant expect certain things from them, but then again, they should know your expectations of them.

When I feel that someone has a certain expectation for me, I would try my best to live up to that expectation. Perhaps its just personal pride to live up to what others expect of me.

But in a relationship, there are bound to be certain expectations of each other. Perhaps it is always best to say it out at the start of the relationship, rather than to wait for things to happen.

But then again, love blinds us all.

faint annoyance.

That same close fren, has told me more stuff that made me do some deeper thinking.

"If you love and care about the person, you would be motivated to want to go correct that person's faults."

"You (myself, Alex) are generally good natured, but there are some stuff you cannot tolerate, and stand strong on what you think is right or wrong."

I seem to be on a rolling streak, getting pissed at a few people close to me over this weekend.

Close friends, they are supposed to be there for you, wake you up when you are falling into a pit, say things with frankness that may not be nice but necessary. But as close friends, would it be a special privilege or being allowed to be insensitive, or just plain taking advantage of, or that one will always drop everything just for the other?

I have been thinking of what constitutes as a best friend. Would it be the same as being in a relationship with the opposite sex? For what I feel, it would be some sort like being in a relationship, minus the physical intimacy, that anything the friend says or does would invariably affect the other person.

But the problem is, is whether they are able to think it the same way?

nature vs nurture.

Genetic make up or external influence? I'd say its a combination of both, but weighing more on external influence.

The basis of your character is first moulded by the ones that cared for you since young, your parents. I cannot claim to have had the best parenting, but is there a guide or rules pertaining to what proper parenting is? Perhaps the end product is the best way to judge.

I have been doing some thinking on this. There has to be basic discipline taught and meted out when the child is young. But as the child grows older into adulthood, where he is more mature and knows a little of society and how it works, is it right to still threaten him with monetary means, a roof over their heads, and demanding filial piety?

Wouldn't a child experiencing all these grow up with a sense of resentment?

Well, I would.

untitled.

A friend told me, "When someone is in love with you, you will be surprised what that person would do just for you."

That got me pondering, how love is that amazing. I had observed from a third person's point of view, what love can drive a person to become, be it for the better or worse.

Even now, I'm still being surprised every time.

Thank you for loving me.

feeling the heat.

I feel so relieved now that I have completed and sent in all my scholarship applications. As usual I procrastinated over the application and left it to the last minute such that I kinda neglected someone over the last two weeks of march.

I was under the intense time pressure as I struggled to produce quality work that was, and still is, evading me for the last two years of my life. Now I'm just crossing my fingers that I'll get that interview.

Speaking of the heat, I cannot believe how warm the office is becoming recently. With the remote control in safely in the aunties' clutches, the office temperature is set at around "Alex starts to perspire" degrees Celsius.

They are perpetually afraid of the cold that they actually drape scarves or wear jackets for the whole day. At first, I thought it was only me, but it turns out, both zw and jinggy were feeling very warm too.

I wish I could unleash a Boggart in the office and low, and behold, it would turn into freezing weather, causing panic to the masses. Unless the Boggart attacks me, and turn into paradise for the aunties, the Sahara Desert.

(:

you will never know wad will happen in your life.

(:

quotations.

I must be getting bored by work, as I am having more mental monologues with myself these few days. Perhaps this is partly because I'm planning for my 21th birthday celebrations, and being stunned by the quotations sent over by the various hotels for their buffet high tea/dinner.

I have only invited those very close frens to my celebration, and its no easy task leaving out some of my frens. But in this world as it is now, the costs of the celebration is my priority.

I know this is random, but I saw this quote from those spammers flooding msn promoting their porn/dating/enhancement websites that I found quite interesting.

"They say it is the soul that captures the heart of a woman, but it is the looks that first captures the eyes of one." And they go on about wanting to date you for your hot looks.

Well, at least now we know that spammers also put in effort in their work.

being happy with who you are.

Lets face it, everyone has their own issues. I have been doing my usual mental monologue with myself about this issue about issues.

I read somewhere this quote somewhere before that I found to be quite true. "Most guys have more issues/personal problems than they look". It set me thinking about myself, about how I appear to the people around me, about the kind of impression I make to them.

It also set me thinking about some of the guys that I know more personally, and I find it to be quite true too. I'm not a MCP but I feel that guys have that ability to shut out such stuff completely at times so that they can continue with their lives and daily interactions with people.

During work, I usually whip out my iPod so that I wont fall asleep. The best songs that accompany me, as it has been for over 5years, are the songs from X Japan, with X on Piano in particular. I've always been letting people listen to songs from X, trying to get them hooked onto X. Now I bring you their latest song, IV.



In loving memory of Hide.

I just love Yoshiki on his trademark transparent piano. Beautiful.

(:

in the zone.

I'm happy to be employed, and time seems to be passing indecently fast, but unfortunately it doesnt apply when I'm actually in the office. We're just practically living for two big moments during office hours from 8.30 to 5.30.

Typical day at work :

0830 Reach office, throws bag under the table, turn on computer, stone.
0845 Reads soccernet, manutd.com, newsnow - Man Utd.
0900 Goes to pantry, fills cup with whatever I feel like drinking.
0905 Working - zones out.
1000 "
1100 "
1200 "
1215 Promptly loses 100% efficiency rate and starts to disturb people around me.
1230 Lunch!
1315 Round of table tennis.
1330 Returns to work and promptly zones out.
1400 "
1500 "
1600 "
1715 Promptly loses 100% efficiency rate and starts to disturb people around me.
1730 Packs bag and joins the queue to tap out.

employment.

A nail biting finale, in which on that fateful morning I finally received the call from my would-be employers that they would be offering me the job instead of the faceless two other (tempted to use a really appropriate expletive that accurately describes them but decides not to) competitors that popped outta no where.

The start of the month spells out a new chapter in life for me, as I donned the uncomfortable office attire and put on leather shoes to kick start my CPF account.

The excitement of joining the workforce promptly lasted 10mins after I left my house on the first day as I battled with frenzied ah sohs (who strangely have so much energy so early in the morning) to board the bus filled with sleepy students, the working force, and the Crazies.

(I dubbed those that prefer to do their own stuff in the wee hours of the morning than to sleep in as the Crazies.)

Incidentally, just so that my day gets worse, the bulk of the people on the bus alights at the stop just BEFORE mine. So I will only get a seat for one stop. Lovely. Not to mention the next bus I take, if I don't get a seat, means I'll be standing for 15-20mins depending on the traffic jam on the expressway.

Luckily, I found a new way to work, the company bus @ kovan. So its like going back to the JC days all over again.

Work is more bearable when you have good friends working in the building/beside you/floor itself. Especially when we "bump into each other" in the pantry.

my best friends.

With all the technology now, where camera-less handphones are becoming rare breeds (eat that suffering pple in NS!), I find that it is still quite difficult to get a group photo with everyone present. Strange no?

Here are some rare photos of my favourite people all together with me.

The last photo is to make up for the bad photo of Alwin in the first photo. =D

it starts from young.

My baby cousins, Tiffany and Christine. They are so adorable, but I failed to get a photo of them dancing together. I bet lots of guys would be queueing up to woo them when they grow up.

(If Facebook still exists 15yrs down the road, I bet Christine would have millions of self portraits uploaded on her account.)

young at heart.

If you knew me better, you would know that I really dislike kids. Especially those kids that throw temper tantrums, yell, shout, cry, and basically making a hell lot of noise that would invariably give me a headache.

I was even thinking along the lines of NOT having children after/if I get married.

(forgive me my future wife.)

Perhaps I'm growing old, or the idea of children is growing on me. Hmm. But I'm beginning to like children, well at least the more well behaved ones that respond to you. With their baby talk and scuttling around on their little legs, they are actually quite adorable.

I have been spending some time with my baby cousin during this festive period. She's so lovable. She doesn't cry when she fell over accidentally, she'd only run up to her father and show him where she hit herself, and the father only needs to acknowledge her complaint and she'd just scuttle happily away.

Here's a photo of her being amazed by a camera hand phone and she identifies people through the phone.


Maybe it is true that fathers favour daughters more, and mothers sons; I rather have a daughter.

minor nuisances.

When you're late, or in a rush, things tend to go wrong. Having established that, I realised some things that always occur to me when I'm in a rush. (but this does NOT mean that I'm always late.)

One nuisance that is on the top of my list.

Before I go out, it is a habit of mine to bathe before leaving the house. Just when I closed the door and locked the padlock on my gate, I would suddenly ask myself if I switched off the heater. My heater is an external heater and it is a complete waste of electricity if you leave it switched on. The greater danger is that it may overheat and meltdown if left switched on for too long.

It is with this sense of danger that always leave me with no choice but to open the door again and check, only to find out that it has been switched off after I leave the toilet, leaving me even more irritated. But then again, if I fail to check, I'd feel uneasy throughout when I'm out.

By far, I have never really been able to ascertain with 100% confidence if I have switched off the heater after my bath when I'm standing there pondering about it at my doorstep. But the most irritating thing is, it is always AFTER I have locked my door then I'll ask the heater question.

Another nuisance.

When I'm in a rush, I tend to move faster, do everything faster, and therefore, start to perspire after my nice and cool bath. Nothing irks me more before I go out is that I'm perspiring like no one's business even before I do anything.

So, after I changed my clothes in my room, I will make sure the windows are open and the fan is turned on as I start preening my hair. I remember last time, before an important date, I turned on the aircon in my room before I went to bathe to maintain a cool temperature in the room when I'm changing.

I wonder if anyone else has the same heater problem as I do?

our PRINCEss of Tennis.

Tennis. Are we that obsessed with that particular sport? Maybe you don't perspire too much? That we can laugh (at wilander) together? But I believe the prime reason why we (apart from wilander, again.) like to get together and play tennis is the post-tennis slacking/jiao-weing session is sorely missed during our stint in NS.

We went to play tennis again at the birdcage, with this time zw bringing his girl along, finally. It had been an on-going joke that us as zw's best frens knew his colleague more than May herself. I remember myself only uttering ONE sentence to her when zw was in hospital, for the whole 2years plus they have been dating. But as it turns out, May seems like a pretty cool girl and she can understand our weird sense of humour. (As I would expect out of the 2yrs of training with zw, heh.)

Welcome new Slacker!


Somehow I feel that us as a group, has become even closer and more tightly knitted than before. And I feel that it has been this new Slacker that contributed quite a fair bit.

We drove around in zw's ride and after prata we ended up (somehow) at Sembawang Beach and we talked about the Sands of Time, about our past experiences and general rubbish. Mysteriously enough, I had quite a bit of the Sands from sembawang beach in my shoes after we went to play the swings.

I had the pleasure of sending our new Slacker back home.

(:

cynicism bites back.

I always liked to be cynical in my thoughts, like thinking that there's always a dark side to a person, always thinking that there are always vested interests behind certain actions a person takes. I realised sth, that all of these hardens my heart up, replacing the innocence, and the belief in actual good.

Sure, you need to harden your heart while out conquering the world. But I need not have extended it to those around me. I remember what yn said of me yrs ago, and I realised I'm not that person anymore. It took just one fateful line to hit me that I was behaving like a jerk. Without giving a fair chance at all.

To you, I apologise, even though there's no way you will ever know, but I still need to do this.

Sorry baby.

trust.

Many things happened at the start of 2009, both interesting and intriguing. Maybe this is a sign of things to come, with uni starting in August. After ORD-ing in november, I'm spending alot more time with my best frens and its a very nice feeling to be hanging out on a regular basis again.

After seeing all the politics in army and backstabbing and gossiping to boot, its very comforting to be with those that you are put your complete trust in. Some may say that its stupid to put your complete trust in someone, but I say that you have never lived if you did not put your trust, your life in the hands of your friend(s). I feel that there is no point if you live your life with such hypocrisy. Yes, I believe in the good of people, in my friends.

But then again, you should know who are the ones that you can trust.

compelling read.

I'm currently struggling to read through The Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, with him talking about the random events and the uncertainty that's rampant in the world yet we are still trying to predict uncertainty. Remember your Statistics? Screw those.

My brain needs more juice to totally comprehend this read, I'm like reading the same paragraph 3 times to finally understand. Ugh!

briefs.

I was re-reading my blog entries. As much as I like reading the newspapers and novels, I found that my longer entries were a tad too long to hold even my own interest. (kinda sad don't ya think -_- i'm too lor sor even for myself.)

So, from now onwards, I will conduct everything in briefs, not the sexy Calvin Klein ones that you need a large member to accentuate your bulge, but in short paragraphs/posts to hold my own interest when I'm reading.

I was at ceo's 21th bdae chalet, and he said something interesting to me. He was saying something about "those people who have moved on, who prefers their jc friends to secondary sch friends". This got me thinking, as I believe it is during secondary school in which your character, mentality and social behaviour develops and it is there where you make your closest friends and cliques. When we all are split up in jc, maybe people could have a facade on? In jc where people may want to start anew? But then again, in secondary sch, I was with a bunch of very jiao, love-to-talk-rubbish, love-to-laugh, gang of peeps that still rocks my socks, so they're very much closer than my jc friends.

*scandalous* even though I was just being a friend, and being there for you when you needed someone, I never talked bad about you even after all the things that shouldn't have happened, happened. You just showed your disillusioned, petty character when you mouthed off to others about me.

ha.

so true.

I love this. More people should live by cynicism.

old train station in Taiwan.

my first friendster-esque, facebook-esque, emo photo!

chastised by chalets.

No, I have not been sexually abused at the chalets. Don't get misled by the word I used. Haha. It just that I have been having quite a mass influx of chalets in the month of december that its quite punishing on my schedule, and body. I shall blog on my most recent chalet, the Photog chalet.

The chalet was held in conjunction with Ops Ubin, (pardon the use of army terms but I have no idea why the organisers were hell bent on using such foul terminology). Together with the juniors, we went to Pulau Ubin for a day's trek to take some photos. Armed with my jungle hat, we set off insanely early in the day to catch the ferry to Ubin and there we were, walking around in a forest. Oddly enough, I was rather disappointed with the so-called abundance of nature in Ubin as well as the famous Chek Jawa. Maybe I'm used to being outfield and don't really appreciate nature when you're actually tired, sweaty, hungry and carrying a rifle. But all there was around, was just green. The foilage and all were so repetitive (that's why its a forest huh) and nothing really caught my eye. The only interesting insight that i gained in Ubin was that the seagrass in Chek Jawa was actually unique only to that place. Apparently this type of seagrass only thrives in the seamud that is also unique to Chek Jawa. Henceforth the whole commotion about the reclaimation works to be done in Chek Jawa last time.

For the chalet, it was held at the changi bungalows, and it was REALLY out of the way, but it was REALLY big as well. There were around 4 bedrooms, and get this, a kitchen. Wow. Fine I have not been to this chalet before and i shall risk sounding like a himbo, but I have not seen a kitchen attached to a chalet before, together with all the works like cutlery, pots. I could have just cooked for the chalet right there and then since it was a potluck. We got the barbecue going, (no thanks to me of course. I, who refuses to help start the fire) and here's a scary fact for those who swear by barbecues. Get this, when you stand over the bbq pit for 2hours, you're inhaling the equivalent of 220,000 cigarettes! Heh. And NO, I'm not making this up to cover up for my laziness. I got this off the newpapers, Mind Your Body.

I managed to catch up with the peeps, having not seen them for quite a while, but catching up only entertains myself so much. Being quite afraid of boredom (this is an interesting issue in today's teens and I shall touch on this another time), with everyone kinda separating into their own cliques and generation. I got everyone who was staying over and we started playing stupid card games. Nothing better entertains me than having fun together in a group, laughing and talking rubbish. And i thoroughly enjoyed this chalet, with the exception of my frens wanting to go to changi beach at 4am in the morning. Nuh-uh, for me, I just went to sleep. I don't get it when people say that when you go to a chalet, you don't sleep. I don't get the point in that. If you do not get any rest at all, in the morning, when the fresh and fully rested Alex comes out to greet you, its like Resident Evil : Part IV or something, where everyone are like zombies. When you go to a chalet, get some damn sleep so that you can continue to have fun the next day.

Cant sleep when you're so excited? Alcohol works fine.