expecting.

Nope, I am not pregnant, no matter how suspicious of my expanding belly you may be. Haha.

I have been holding this post back for quite awhile, in view of my preparations for my darling girlfren's birthday. Stressful, but to look at her smiling & shocked face when everything fell according to plan was just oh so sweet.

((:

Expectations of others is what I am gonna muse about in this post. Would it be easier to live without having expectations of others? To avoid disappointment of others not matching your expectation level, with the added bonus of being surprised when others do something unexpected for you.

I apply this for my acquaintances as I do not put in so much effort for such friendships.

How about close friends?

They can argue that you should know their character and you cant expect certain things from them, but then again, they should know your expectations of them.

When I feel that someone has a certain expectation for me, I would try my best to live up to that expectation. Perhaps its just personal pride to live up to what others expect of me.

But in a relationship, there are bound to be certain expectations of each other. Perhaps it is always best to say it out at the start of the relationship, rather than to wait for things to happen.

But then again, love blinds us all.

faint annoyance.

That same close fren, has told me more stuff that made me do some deeper thinking.

"If you love and care about the person, you would be motivated to want to go correct that person's faults."

"You (myself, Alex) are generally good natured, but there are some stuff you cannot tolerate, and stand strong on what you think is right or wrong."

I seem to be on a rolling streak, getting pissed at a few people close to me over this weekend.

Close friends, they are supposed to be there for you, wake you up when you are falling into a pit, say things with frankness that may not be nice but necessary. But as close friends, would it be a special privilege or being allowed to be insensitive, or just plain taking advantage of, or that one will always drop everything just for the other?

I have been thinking of what constitutes as a best friend. Would it be the same as being in a relationship with the opposite sex? For what I feel, it would be some sort like being in a relationship, minus the physical intimacy, that anything the friend says or does would invariably affect the other person.

But the problem is, is whether they are able to think it the same way?

nature vs nurture.

Genetic make up or external influence? I'd say its a combination of both, but weighing more on external influence.

The basis of your character is first moulded by the ones that cared for you since young, your parents. I cannot claim to have had the best parenting, but is there a guide or rules pertaining to what proper parenting is? Perhaps the end product is the best way to judge.

I have been doing some thinking on this. There has to be basic discipline taught and meted out when the child is young. But as the child grows older into adulthood, where he is more mature and knows a little of society and how it works, is it right to still threaten him with monetary means, a roof over their heads, and demanding filial piety?

Wouldn't a child experiencing all these grow up with a sense of resentment?

Well, I would.

untitled.

A friend told me, "When someone is in love with you, you will be surprised what that person would do just for you."

That got me pondering, how love is that amazing. I had observed from a third person's point of view, what love can drive a person to become, be it for the better or worse.

Even now, I'm still being surprised every time.

Thank you for loving me.

feeling the heat.

I feel so relieved now that I have completed and sent in all my scholarship applications. As usual I procrastinated over the application and left it to the last minute such that I kinda neglected someone over the last two weeks of march.

I was under the intense time pressure as I struggled to produce quality work that was, and still is, evading me for the last two years of my life. Now I'm just crossing my fingers that I'll get that interview.

Speaking of the heat, I cannot believe how warm the office is becoming recently. With the remote control in safely in the aunties' clutches, the office temperature is set at around "Alex starts to perspire" degrees Celsius.

They are perpetually afraid of the cold that they actually drape scarves or wear jackets for the whole day. At first, I thought it was only me, but it turns out, both zw and jinggy were feeling very warm too.

I wish I could unleash a Boggart in the office and low, and behold, it would turn into freezing weather, causing panic to the masses. Unless the Boggart attacks me, and turn into paradise for the aunties, the Sahara Desert.